Life

Pre-living:
He searches for the answer at the bottom of the bottle. It lost taste hours ago. The last bitter sip makes his face cringe. Lo and behold, there is no message in this one. The emptiness resembles the internalized  feeling. Self monologue repeats in his cynical mind.  Constantly checking his watch, damn, time to go.

Walking home alone with the street lights blaring down. Passing parties where he hears laughter interwoven in the drunk college kids singing to an acoustic guitar. He feels a piece of himself eating away at his sanity. Clinches his phone hoping to be surprised by an unfamiliar vibration. It never comes.

Unlocks his door to an apartment, emptiness. He rips off the shirt and throws it forcefully to the ground, frustration. He ruffles his hair, hopelessness. He stares at his shattered soul in the mirror, resentfulness.

His blood shot eyes, magnified under the liquid tears, stare back at him. Running water splashes on his calloused hands. Just breathe. He throws the water upon his battered face. Criticizes himself.

Sits with the artificial light illuminating the dark room. Memories flow into his mind. Every instance where he messed up. Every time the world spit him out. Every chance he had that he threw away.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?"

Living:
The cool, bubbliness of the liquid tickles his throat. It inspires his taste buds. The sips flow down magically. The warmth of the fire pits blares on his exposed skin. He smiles and doesn't even know why. Caught up in conversations about nothingness he loses track of time. n. He is tapped on the shoulder. Time to go.

Inhaling fully, the fresh air is a blessing to his lungs. The joyful chatter rings in his ear drums as he bobs his head to the beat. Taps his foot in unrhythmically. He doesn't care. The breeze of the chilled summer air flows on top of his buzzed head. He smiles. The walk is interlaced with life long friends and the new found people in his life.

They stumble through the door, joyfulness. Rips of his shirt, eagerness. Runs his hand over his head, enlightenment. He takes a glance at himself in the mirror, humbly laughs.

Crows feet wrinkles fill his hearty smile. The running water reminds him of the flow of life. The splash of cool water makes him feel alive. A deep breathe. Nods in acceptance.

All lights are on, the room is filled with conversations. Memories of the good adventures return. Every instance they laughed. Every time they won. Every chance that was never regretted. Even the bad memories are spoken of highly.

"This is living, really living life."