Most people believe living on a Caribbean island should be paradise. As I walk through the so called "paradise", I notice the shattered souls that walk beside.
A young girl, sits at her computer screen, presumably over Skype, complaining about her problems in the middle of a common area. The young, bright girl sits on the dirtied floor yelling into her computer screen. Headphones dangle slightly from her ears as she holds back the tears. Her beauty is covered be a look of constant disarray. She is asking "What is so good about my life right now?" She sits there in silence with a clenched jaw, trying to avoid eye contact with whomever she is speaking with from the digital connection across the world. The pure frustration in her look is disheartening. At that moment, she is broken.
A young man, surrounded by people typing on his computer the hardships that have come forth at him. My confident, vibrant, and eccentric peer, whom I have exchanged laughs with in the past, is noticeably shaky. The acquaintance stands there mumbling words to his friend across the way. He finally sits and looks in physical and mental stress. Pure agony as he can't sit still from his mental turmoil. He begins to open his books and begins typing. Striking the keys rapidly and full of force. A quick glance at the screen and words of "I am at my breaking point." "I am so f#%#@ pissed off right now." "I don't know what to do." pop up. I knew it wasn't right to keep reading so I got back to my work. At that moment, he is broken.
Its tough to see people that you feel are confident and have everything together to go through such a breaking point. Makes you realize that everyone has theirs, eventually, whether you see it or not. Most people probably hide it away from the general public. Many big egos will deny it at all costs. If the stress of school isn't what gets to them, then it is something else; tests, social life, fitness, diet, relationships, and so forth.
I wish I could have done something about it.
Just wanted to remind everyone that this task we are set on is tough for everyone. We aren't the first people to have to go through this, we won't be the last.. When you do eventually break, trust your family and your friends will be there to help you rebuild. Remember to pay it forward, you never know what kind of battle someone is going through, so be kinder than necessary.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
We Never Have a Clue
(Somewhat inebriated, the smell of cigarettes drenched from one as the other stood there staring off in the distance in a silence. Silent for no other reason, than just to be silent. The smoker throws his arm around his peer, his friend and confidently states:)
-You know what I like about you? You wear your heart on your sleeve. You say 'screw everyone else', you are true. There are not a lot of people in this world like you. I respect that.
(The tight lipped individual nods in appreciation. He thinks to himself and carefully chooses his words)
"That's life though man. . .Its emotional. You can't live life without emotions. All of them. The tears, the hatred, the burning in soul they all make the other ones feel that much better. The serenity, the peacefulness, the love, the joy the ones that make life really worth living."
-Yeah man, I feel ya. I just don't understand though. It's admirable, but kind of annoying at times too.
"I know what you are saying. But why should I let society tell me that I have to be tough all the time, and not show emotions? Yet everyone else is allowed to do what they want. Doesn't make sense to me. Plus, trying to remain in happiness when you feel like you have nothing left to give.....its an interestingly fun battle."
-Interesting. Though, I have seen you pretty pissed off before. That was someone no one wants to be around. However your people keep coming back.
"I know its weird. I always make sure I apologize if I go out of line. They know I am not trying to hurt them. They know I am a good person at the end of it all. We all do bad things, that doesn't make us bad people. Just a lapse in our moral and otherwise structured life."
-Yeah. Morals are important. However we tend to put morals off to do what makes us happy. Kinda like making us bad people.
"I agree. Morals though, are nothing more than what we make them. My morals slightly differ from yours and his and hers. It doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you a better person in my opinion. If you feel guilty for not following your morals, and what is right, then at least you are learning. We need to learn in life. Learn, evolve, adapt and move forward. Make the next moment in life better than the moment that we are currently living. For ourselves and those around us."
-Word.
"I guess all in all, we just have to try to be the best people we can be everyday. Put in the time and effort needed to get accomplished what we need to get accomplished. And always, always pay it forward."
-I like that.
(They push off the wall they were leaning against. Tap out the cigarette and the conversation simmers down.)
"I don't know bro, I guess I always wonder if I am a good person because I want to do good things and be respectful, and what not. Or if I am a good person because I have the desire to be a good person."
I wonder that shit too man. . .who knows, lets get a beer.
-You know what I like about you? You wear your heart on your sleeve. You say 'screw everyone else', you are true. There are not a lot of people in this world like you. I respect that.
(The tight lipped individual nods in appreciation. He thinks to himself and carefully chooses his words)
"That's life though man. . .Its emotional. You can't live life without emotions. All of them. The tears, the hatred, the burning in soul they all make the other ones feel that much better. The serenity, the peacefulness, the love, the joy the ones that make life really worth living."
-Yeah man, I feel ya. I just don't understand though. It's admirable, but kind of annoying at times too.
"I know what you are saying. But why should I let society tell me that I have to be tough all the time, and not show emotions? Yet everyone else is allowed to do what they want. Doesn't make sense to me. Plus, trying to remain in happiness when you feel like you have nothing left to give.....its an interestingly fun battle."
-Interesting. Though, I have seen you pretty pissed off before. That was someone no one wants to be around. However your people keep coming back.
"I know its weird. I always make sure I apologize if I go out of line. They know I am not trying to hurt them. They know I am a good person at the end of it all. We all do bad things, that doesn't make us bad people. Just a lapse in our moral and otherwise structured life."
-Yeah. Morals are important. However we tend to put morals off to do what makes us happy. Kinda like making us bad people.
"I agree. Morals though, are nothing more than what we make them. My morals slightly differ from yours and his and hers. It doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you a better person in my opinion. If you feel guilty for not following your morals, and what is right, then at least you are learning. We need to learn in life. Learn, evolve, adapt and move forward. Make the next moment in life better than the moment that we are currently living. For ourselves and those around us."
-Word.
"I guess all in all, we just have to try to be the best people we can be everyday. Put in the time and effort needed to get accomplished what we need to get accomplished. And always, always pay it forward."
-I like that.
(They push off the wall they were leaning against. Tap out the cigarette and the conversation simmers down.)
"I don't know bro, I guess I always wonder if I am a good person because I want to do good things and be respectful, and what not. Or if I am a good person because I have the desire to be a good person."
I wonder that shit too man. . .who knows, lets get a beer.
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